The cry of a believer at the end of her tether..

the widow of Zarephath  (1 king 17:10) was not an Israelite  but she apparently believed in God. Amidst the famine as she was preparing to make the last brad for herself and the son, her's would have been a heart of anguish and helplessness. Why has not her God been faithful in meeting her needs? There was no man at home to search for food for her. She was going to starve after her meal and worse still see her beloved son starve to death.

In today's context in the war torn ares of middle east and Africa can you hear the inner turmoil of so many widows of Zarephath? Will hep come in the form of Elijas? How many will have the joy of being able to have oi filled jars and flour enough to meet the need of the day and how many are going to face starvation and death?

Will their God answer them or is there going to be silence..

Challenges in the life of an committed Indian lady doctor

Contd

Joel  continued to travel in his morris minor to different parts of the country to build on contract. Jaffna townhall is one of his best handiwork. Marble like floors, well architectured layout and rooms, It had a special splendor. At the inauguration he received a Key made in gold as mark of appreciation for his craftsmanship.  The town hall was destroyed by the LTTE in the seventies.

He was a  champion for the caste oppressed and spoke on this issue in many forums. When Mahatma Gandhi visited Jaffna, Joel sat with him on the dias. He wore silk whereas everyone else wore Khadi. When Gandhi asked him why he did that he replied that he is not a hypocrite like others who never wore Khadi on other days.      He contributed to the low caste children being admitted as equals in all schools and colleges.

Petcy read a lot; read whatever magazines she could. She wrote to all the evangelists abroad on regular basis and received their books and read them. She occasionally visited her parents in India. Two of her brothers stayed with her for brief periods of time. Whenever she could she sent home money. Joel supported the education of all his brothers in law.

It was at this time that Petcy felt the burden and neglect by her husband. She went back to India for a holiday and did not want to go back to Jaffna. She got a job in Madurai but the icome was too meager to manage herself and her 5 children. Zeline, Petcy’s friend was her support and comfort. Petcy’s parents helped to look after the children. Petcy struggled on as she hated Joel’s temper and tyranny. She missed not working as a doctor in Jaffna. She was sick of the heavy duties she had to look after the house and the family, the cows goat etc and do all the manual job. But as months went by, she felt she was denying her children the luxury of food clothes and fineries which were available to them in Jaffna.  Finally one day she decided to go back to Jaffna and sent a telegram to Joel. He came and took the entire family back to Jaffna, by flight.

They worshipped in Assembly of God church in Jaffna where Pastor Wardsworth was in Charge. This was a time that Petcy treasured as they were among friends. Sis Reinicker was the Danish Missionary there. The children also were nurtured in religion as well as in social skills in this Sunday School.

Padma, Petcy’s second daughter had rheumatic heart disease and was on regular treatment. There was no surgery available at that time. Gradually her condition worsened. Finally one morning she asked Petcy to pray for her and died in her arms. This was of great sorrow to Petcy. Everyone loved Padma and it took a while to get over the loss.

Wesley went to Jaffna College for his higher studies. Leela was admitted to Uduvil Girls high school. From there Wesley  went to Kandy University for his Bachelors. He then joined Trinity College as the Maths master and was always called the Pious Paul.

Petcy’s sojourn from Jaffna

It was at this time that Joel’s health was failing because of Diabetes and Hypertension. His business was not doing well either.  So Petcy and Joel decided that Petcy should start practicing medicine. This was after about 25 years since Madurai. So they left Tellippalai and migrated to Mattakuliya Colombo where they rented a large house opposite  a mosque. Petcy started  “St Paul’s Dispensary”. She was the nurse, the doctor and the dispenser. The clinic did fairly well. She started a branch in Negombo as well. So there she was back in the profession she trained for, back in the profession she loved and bloomed. She was loved and respected as a person of her own, as a doctor, and did not have to stay in the shadow of her husband. Her children saw her in her new role and were proud. So were her relatives  back in India.

Leela, the elder daughter got married to Kingsley working as an administrative person in a tea estate.They made a handsome couple but Petcy missed her. The income from the clinics was not steady and Petcy looked for a job. She was hired by a private hospital in Kalutara and then Trincomalee Shyamala Hospital. While Joel stayed in Tellippalai and visited Petcy, her children Sam and Daisy stayed with her, attending schools at different places. Those were financially tough times, but Petcy managed to lead the home and support it. Joel gave up his business as he had health problems.

As the medium of instruction in Government schools was changed to vernacular, Daisy was sent to Girls High School Kandy as a boarder. She was always good in studies and managed well. Sam was at Trinity College for a while but went back to Trincomalee. Shyamala Hospital paid little but Petcy regained her obstetric skills and became popular.

Daisy was in Jaffna College and then went to India, to do her pre university level in order to get into medicine. Petcy’s friend Zeline took Daisy under her feathers, and Daisy did very well. When she passed with distinction, Joel had just died of a heart attack. Petcy and Daisy were with him when he died in Trincomalee.

Petcy’s dream come true

Petcy always aspired for one of her children to become a doctor. She used to tell them stories about her student days at CMC Vellore, the experiences in Madurai District as a family doctor, her successes in managing childbirths in dire circumstances. Her daughter Daisy nurtured these in her heart and  despite stiff competition was given admission into CMC Vellore for MBBS course.  Petsy was overjoyed and thanked the Lord  for this blessing. Joel had died just before Daisy Left for the interview. Petcy struggled hard to see Daisy through the medicine course. This was the time when there were no emails or easy phone calls. She wrote to Daisy regularly encouraging her  every step of the way.

It was during this period that the Mission hospitals needed doctors and invited Petcy to join them. There she was- another dream came through, in working once more as a mission hospital doctor. She picked up the latest developments in family practice from her younger colleagues and became confident once  more. Daisy joined her during holidays and was a source of pride for her. Daisy got her scholarship in Vellore and this was a relief , lessening the burden of supporting her financially.

Petcy worked in Mc Leod Hospital, Inuvil and Green Hospital Manipay for many years. Then she was posted in Mission Hospital Paranthan, which was a  clinic with maternity services. She had just 2 nurses to assist her and was on call day and night. Dry area surrounded by forests. Snakes were abundant. They even have jumped on the desk through the window while chasing rats. Unflinchingly she carried on her work in this lonely rural place, far from Jaffna society.  Patients needing further treatment were referred to Kilinochi hospital by hospital van. She had a few friends. One was Boys’ Home run by a CSI Pastor and his family. The Manager of a bank and his wife in Kilinochi. Petcy’s children visited her as often as possible. She was proud when Daisy assisted her in maternity cases.  Petcy’s father JI MAnickavasagam died a few years earlier. He was a well respected teacher and popular for his strictness, helpfulness, fluency in English and for the evangelical work. He was heading a church while working as Head master of a  school in Cumbum. A street  was named after him.  Later on one Of the students whom he helped built a medical college. Manickavasagam’s photo adorned the entrance, and was given a salute every morning. Manickavasagam had visited Sri Lanka on a few occasions. But when he died there was only a helper beside him. Petcy could not go but she mourned for her beloved father.

She wanted to go back to India. She was also  trying to get Daisy married. Daisy wanted to fulfil her mother’s wish and decided to stay back in India. Thus when Daisy got married to a missionary in Orissa, Petcy decided to start her preparations to leave Sri Lanka.

Daisy and her husband Jacob worked in Orissa but faced hardships from the local community and decided to move back to Tamilnadu. In the meantime Petcy’s second son Sam decided to marry a nurse working in Paranthan. Sam’s son Sathiskumar, by his first wife who died came to Petcy’s house for all his holidays from his school Trinity College in Kandy. He was a concern to Petcy – a motherless child who needed affection and care. Petcy finally sold her house in Tellippalai and moved to be with Daisy in Chennai.

Petcy enjoyed the family of Sam while in Jaffna. Sam’s daughter was named after her- Aruliya. She also visited Wesley occasionally.

In the meantime Leela and Kingsley also migrated to India to work with Daisy, their only sister and be of support to her. Petcy  joined Daisy In Chennai and soon after when Daisy started her Postgraduate studies in Community medicine Vellore, she was happy to move in with her. She loved being in Vellore, seeing the patients walking in and out; discussing with Daisy the cases she sees. Her grand daughter Angeline was 2 years old and was pampered by her grandmother. Petcy’s sister Pankajam/ Anchy was living in Katpadi Vellore and visited her often. Her other cousins were also from the same town .These were happy times, giving her once more a sense of belonging. Petcy’s close friend Zeline was in Madurai and visited Chennai to see her daughter. This was also a special time of joy – as they had shared years of friendship and support.Petcy also visited her daughter Leela periodically in Peermed estate where Kinsley had joined as Manager.

During the last three months of her M.D. examination, Daisy had to put in hours of preparation and  had asked Petcy to stay with Leela and then Pankajam and she did not like this, as she felt she needed Daisy’s medical attention all the time. But she rejoiced when Daisy passed her examination well. The family then moved back to Chennai and stayed in Anna Nagar. Daisy tried to start private practice and It was Petcy who was seated in front looking for patients every day.

The end

Her strength was in her relationship with God. There was a Pentecostal church nearby and Daisy’s family started attending it. Petcy, and Daisy  were regular and were influenced by the teachings there. This included giving up wearing jewellery. Petcy was suffering from Hypertension and heart failure and was on medical treatment. After a few months,  she made a firm commitment to give up medicines. She had hypertension, chronic heart failure and slowly became breathless and unable to walk. Her health went downhill and became very ill. During spells of severe breathlessness,  Daisy was in a dilemma. The church advised her to yield her mother to God’s will and as a doctor, a daughter and a believer she had to take the decision. Petcy was firm, and hence Daisy had to give in though it tore her heart to see her suffer. Leela Wesley and Sam were informed of her condition and Leela came to Chennai. When Petcy breathed her last, the Pentecostal sisters were with her. Leela and Daisy were at her bedside.

Her funeral was well attended. Zeline  was present . Petcy had earlier told Daisy to play Jim Reeve’s song “I’ll fly away” and “My Cathedral”, “Beyond  the sunset” at her funeral. With a painful heart, these were played for her. She was buried in Kilpauk cemetery, Chennai. Wesley arrived the day after the funeral. During the last few weeks of Petcy’s suffering and end, Jacob, Daisy’s husband was away in the Netherlands and so Leela and Daisy had to conduct the funeral with the help of the church.

Challenges in the life of an committed Indian lady doctor

Challenges  in the life of  an committed Indian lady doctor

This is the life story of my mother. She was born in India in the last century, and migrated to Sri Lanka after marriage. A dedicated woman, smart, caring, and  intelligent. But destiny had various twists for her life.

Childhood.

Aurelia Dhanamony was the first born for Sophie and J I Manickavasagam belonging to Cumbum, in Theni district, Madurai. Her father was a local convert . He had met Sophia in Madurai. She belonged to a Hindu Brahmin family – an accomplished woman daughter of a high court lawyer. She was a believer in Christianity and fell in Live with Isaac manickavasagam. When they got married, Sophia was disowned by her family. Sophia and Isaac chose  to settle in Cumbum.

Aurelia was also called Petcy, and was an obedient, quiet and religious girl. She was very good in her studies and was always a favourite of her teachers. Invariably the youngrst in class she was smart and active. Her mother was a pianist and Petcy also learnt to play the piano.

Her family became large as brothers and sister were born. Dorai, Jeya, Dhana, Victor were her brothers. Pankajam was the only sister. It was a happy family. Isaac was the Headmaster of the local school.  He also had a church, where he was the pastor. Sophie was a faithful wife, bringing up the family. She was a great cook, having learnt to make non vegetarian dishes as well.

Around this time Dr Ida Scudder had started her medical school  in a place called Vellore near Katpadi. Petcy dreamt of becoming a doctor, and was encouraged by her parents. In 1927, she was the youngest student accepted by Christian Medical College vellore , in the Licenciate Medical Practitioner (LMP) course. First time away from home, Petcy settled down to an exciting study period of 4 years. There she met another beautiful girl called Zeline Parker and became friends with her. Zeline was from Parker Home, an orphanage run by American missionaries. It was to be a lifelong friendship, which carried them through thick and thin. Zeline and Petcy always travelled together going home and returning to CMC.

As a doctor in Madurai

Petcy enjoyed her time in CMC. She loved medicine. She was happiest to see patients and interact with them.

On completing the course she joined Madurai mission hospital. She also worked in Cumbum, Theni, Bodinayakanur. She was the only lady doctor for miles around in those villages. Therefore night calls for deliveries were common. In the pitch dark, when there was no electricity she had delivered babies with lantern lights. She had tackled obstructed labour by c raniotomy or decapitation. Travelling by bullock carts she had a helper with her.

She also worked in Kennet Hospital Madurai.

Her friend and companion in the house was her aunt Tracy.Tracy had very long hair and used to correspond with Petcy regularly. Petcy’s younger sister Pankajam was mischievous and petted by everyone

She was also fond of her cousins James And Raj Isaac in Vellore. Petcy was a quiet and prayerful girl, good at studies and was everyone’s favourite.

Marriage

She was barely 21 and there was a missionary from Ceylon, who was looking for a bride like her. Joel Paul was a very rich man 44 years old, from Tellippalai Jaffna. He was a building contractor. He had married twice. The first wife died of tuberculosis. The second wife had mental illness and was divorced. He had no children. If Petcy were to marry Joel she will have a very comfortable home indeed and could support her brothers to study.

Petcy’s parents were in a dilemma.  They were not rich , and could just make ends meet. There were 4 more siblings who needed to be educated. Mother Sophie had bouts of asthma.

Joel was twice Petcy’s age and a widower and divorcee. Was this marriage essential at all?

Joel visited Petcy and was lavish with his gifts to everyone.  Petcy agreed to marry him. And so they did marry. For the first time Petcy left her beloved family behind and flew to Kankesanturai Jaffna.

Petcy in Tellippalai, Jaffna

Petcy started her life in Tellippalai. Everything was different. Tamil intonation and words were peculiar to Jaffna, and so even conversing with common people needed an effort. People were curious to see whom Joel married… a doctor from India. The house was in a huge campus and was large, Helpers were scarce and so Petcy had to work hard from morning till night to care for her husband and keep the house.  In the meantime she was trying to get herself employed. Ceylon medical council did not recognise her LMP degree. Hopes and dreams of career as a doctor crashed for this young woman. Joel refused to send her back to India for one year of study which would have qualified her as MBBS eligible to practice in Sri lanka. Aspirations of a medical missionary went flying through the air.. she was heartbroken.

In 1934 Wesley a son was born to her. Three years later Leela a bonny baby arrived, followed by Padma.  The tamils in Jaffna looked down on Indian tamils, because many tamils from South India had migrated to the tea estates in Celon, recruited as labourers. This did not help Petcy who was scorned by Joel’s relatives and neighbours, despite the fact that she was a  doctor and much more educated than them. She was close to one sister in law, Jeeva wife of Daniel Paul. Jeeva was also from India. These two families were close to each other. Jeeva was also a pious lady like Petcy and hence this friendship thrived and helped both of them to cope in the tough circumstances.

By this time Joel was busy in Kandy, a hill town in Central province. He and his brother Samuel Paul were famous for their buildings. They were sincere, hardworking skilled and principled, Llight houses in Kankesanthurai, Puttalam, Schools and colleges in Jaffna, Colombo and Kandy were the handiwork of Joel and Samuel.

Joel became rich. He had built 3 houses in Kandy near Katugastota-  very attractive compact houses. He also had frequent attacks of malaria, which was an epidemic in Ceylon. Petcy did not know anything about the financial aspects of the family. Money was not important to her and did not tempt her in any way.

Petcy went to live with Joel in Katugastota.  Joel’s nieces Gnanam, Chellamma  also lived with them. They were much older, pursuing the teacher’s training course. Wesley, Padma, Leela joined the local schools.  Another child Raja was born here- and he grew up to be an intelligent affectionate kid. Petcy was a good housewife and loved her family.

Joel had a nasty temper. He would flare up for trivial issues. He would also physically abuse Petcy.  Many times if there was  less salt or too much salt in the curry, he would topple the table- crockery, cutlery and all. He threw plates around. He loved his wife and children and would rarely show this affection. The age gap of about 15 years was not of help. Communication between them dwindled so much so that Petcy was afraid to talk to him. This affected the children as well. They hardly spoke to the father. Whenever Joel returned home, the children who were happily playing till then, ran and hid themselves in the rooms.

One of the maids was from India, and she started a romantic relationship with a man next door. That man had a grudge against Joel, stemming from some business deals, and he tried to harm Joel through this girl. Twice she tried poisoning his food. Joel sent it for analysis and it was found to be Arsenic.  This attempt to murder Joel failed.  One  day, Raja was struggling for breath,and Joel’s niece found marbles in his mouth and removed hem-  was it an accident or was it a murder plot?

One sad day, Raja went missing. People ran helter skelter. The police arrived and investigated. It was a nightmare. Petcy’s heart was broken to bits. There were notices everywhere asking for whereabout of this little boy. Two days later, they found Raja’s body washed ashore on the banks of mahaweli ganga river.  An accident again? The coroner who examined the body and brain of Raja said that Sri Lanka has lost a great man- because of the convolutions in the brain.

A few weeks later, the maid  confessed to Petcy that it was she who had thrown Raja into the river. Petcy was stunned and was contemplating how to  tackle the situation as this maid was from India. That night the maid committed suicide, leaving a note about her relationship with the neighbor. At the autopsy she was found to be two months pregnant. Petcy and Joel  were  devastated realizing that their dear son was murdered by their maid.  Heartbroken, they managed to find solace in prayer.

Joel was facing financial difficulties and had to sell the 3 houses one by one. The family decided to return to Tellippalai Jaffna

A day in the life of Petcy.

She wakes up by 5 a.m. as the cock crows. Her first half an hour is spent talking aloud to God. Her prayers were loud and intense, claiming God’ s promises. She prays for each and every family member. She talks in tongues and receives assurances from God.Then she goes to milk the cow. Not an easy job. She has to sit on a stool, talk to the cows as she draws the milk. She feeds the cows  with hay and water. In the 40s and 50s, maybe even now, Jaffna villages were infested with snakes, and she had to watch her every move, as well as the surroundings.

Then she makes coffee or tea for the children. Breakfast is either idiyappam or puttu or bread. For Idiyappam she had to pound soaked and dried  rice and – which she always kept in stock. Some of the maids around used to help her for a fee. Side dishes had to be made. Cooking was done with firewood and was not easy. There was a  vent pipe. Sometimes she made aappam – hoppers and these tasted yummy with coconut milk and sugar. In Sri Lanka  coconut was indispensible. Every meal had at least one dish made using coconut which needs to be scraped using a special gadget – another difficult task to do twice or thrice a day.

She sets the table for breakfast – This is always done very neatly. Plates, glasses, cups and saucers, water jug, dishes. Each child has to be coaxed to eat after morning ablutions. The table was cleared, in which task all of  the children participated.Cleaning of the house begins next. Bed making, sweeping, setting everything neat, bringing back the night lamps to where they belong. The verandahs need to be swept as leaves and branches woud have littered the place.

Water has to be drawn from the well and poured through a pipe into the bathroom nearby and the tub in front, All vessels had to be filled as there was no running water.Vegetable lady and fish seller come home as the market was just a few yards ahead. They exchanged pleasantries before selling .

By the afternoon the all familiar bread man will come ringing the bell of his cycle. The smell of hot bread and the buns and the cakes was welcome by all children who will run to him. He will make a note of his sales in the notebook and collect payment later.

Clothes had to be washed by hand. Leela the elder daughter helps Petcy along with maids if there were any.  One gardener came daily to water the trees. Each tree had an area with a small entry which was open and later closed, as water flowed along the shallow mud canal from the well.

In the evenings when dusk was settling, Petcy and her daughters cleaned the glass of all the kerosene lamps, with vim powder and paper. A petrolmax light was lit to be kept in the verandah till we closed the doors. The kerosene lamps were carried to each room that was being used. Lunch and dinner had to be made daily, by Petcy who tirelessly toiled for her children. By 7.30 pm there was family prayers. Children took turns to beat the drums, play the tambourine and sing. After Bible reading Petcy always prayed. After dinner children retired to bed. Petcy would ensure all doors were locked in that lonely bungalow. She even looked under the beds for thieves.

The house was spic and span. Beds were made up with white bedsheets and pillow cases. Brass on the doors and tables always sparkled. Whoever visited the house was in admiration of the housekeeping of Petcy.In the mornings Petcy would get the children ready for school. Bright white uniforms and polished shoes were the norm. In the evenings homework was done with help from Petcy or the older children.

Plucking leaves for the animals at home also fell on Petcy’s shoulders. Children accompanied her as she did that. Feeding the animals with “punnaku” was done by her if the gardener was absent.Medical emergencies were attended at home- probably the only place where Petcy used her professional skills.

 continued

It has been a great boon for people living with HIV AIDS to receive ART on a regular basis. The ART centres are functioning quit well in Guntur, Narasaraopet.  My recent visits  reveal that some of the patients are giving up the medicines. This seems to happen because they begin to feel well,; because they have other medical problems, personal problems. This therefore points to the need for continuous  visits and motivation. Are the State level networks functioning? Are the NGOs mainstreaming HIV into their other programs?

Another important issue that I came across is that some persons are arranging marriages between PLHIV, and involving unethical practices. They also take commission to broker these marriages. I know of a 18 year old tribal girl who was married to a 3 year old man from a different district. Is he infected with HIV1 or HIV II. Is he bisexual? Is he on regular ART? These questions are unanswered, and the reason why these questions came up was because the girl came crying back to her widowed mother saying she is being sexually abused..and had ulcers all over her..

Civil society should be actively concerned in this area. It is a violence that has to be exposed. Networks among PLHIV has to be a very vibrant one with strong advocacy, not left to self made leaders.